T.M.I.

I am 25 years old. I have been a girl all my life (so I'm told) and have been a woman for 13 years now (if you know what I mean). Well maybe you don't as that could imply something rather unwholesome. No no no. I meant that I well... oh good god - I received my monthly visitor of fantasticness when I was 12. There.

Now I don't usually discuss any sort of bodily functions. Call me a prude if you like - whatever. I don't mind if other people want to (to a point), I just don't see that talking about such things is necessary on my own part. Anyway, in this case I make an exception because after 13 years of monthly inconveniences - that makes roughly 160 cycles (gross) - I only realized just a few moments ago that I get P.M.S. This is very disappointing to me. You'd think first of all that I would have discovered that fact earlier but I really never noticed it as I always thought I was an exception to the rule; being more on the level-headed end of the Female Emotional Spectrum - not completely immune to bouts of irrationality just on a much less severe scale than that of my fellow ladies. (ha - oxymoron).

Anyhoo... yeah. Again, not getting all detailed about it but suffice it to say that #160 just came to its conclusion earlier today and only in the last few hours have I realized that I have been much happier and optimistic. So I began analyzing my mood over the last week. It was a complete emotional rollercoaster. I'll give myself a little breathing room on it just 'cause there's a bunch of crap going on with my brother right now that effects me far more than I'd like to admit. However, most of it was just the hormones. Seriously. I was a little bitchy the first day and the rest of the time I was just plain sad and then sadder. How ridiculous.

This sadness turned into loneliness and self-pity. At one point yesterday it got so bad that I told my friend Angie that I didn't see the point in going on anymore if all I was going to be was alone. Where did that come from? I've always been alone. I mean yeah it bothers me but "Oh, I can't go on - boo hoo!" Seriously? Yes, I'm quite the pathetic and dramatic little thing sometimes. I'm normally pretty level in my moods and stay in a relatively good if not upbeat humor for the most part. However, I guess I do have gloomy moments from time to time and when I started thinking of when those times occur it's always around That time. Well crap. Now, not only am I a complete victim of Mother Nature but also apparently a very slow learner.

Womanhood is fun.